Day 15 of homelessness......who to trust?

'The best way to find out if you can trust somebody, is to trust them'     Ernest Hemingway

Hmmm...... that's all very well, Ernest, but what I've learned recently, is that trusting someone can be very costly indeed. Of course, there is no one else to blame but me. I trusted TT and if I'm completely honest with myself, it was against my own better judgement. My gut was telling me that something was wrong - and I, foolishly, chose to ignore it. Shortly after we moved in together, there was an incident which rang an alarm bell which I should have heeded. If only I had, things might be very different today.

I also realise now that I must have been the only person trusting him.  The number of people who knew both of us and have subsequently approached me and said 'Well, I never did trust him', have shocked me by their sheer numbers. It actually seems there wasn't one person of our mutual acquaintance who didn't have a little voice inside them screaming, 'beware, he's definitely dodgy!'  If only someone had said something to me - though I understand how impossible that would have been. How do you say to someone 'By the way, your partner is not to be trusted'.

Ernest, though, remains correct. Situations occur every day where we have to place our trust in another human being and sometimes we will rewarded with kindness and respect and at other times we will get a resounding kick in the teeth.

Just in the last couple of weeks I've had another experience of misplaced trust - and teeth were definitely involved!

One of the things to suffer during my time with TT has been visits to the dentist. He regarded it as a luxury - and one which we definitely could not afford. Accordingly, the health my teeth have taken a downward spiral and I will be lucky to escape dentures in the near future.
The fear of that particular situation sent me scuttling off to the nearest practice as soon as TT was out of the door. I'm lucky in that I've never had any fear of the dentist - have always been treated with care and have never experienced any pain. All that changed on my second visit to the new dentist. I had been informed I needed a new crown and a filling and she started with the new crown prep. My god! If she had been in my mouth stamping around in hobnail boots it couldn't have been any more painful. For 5 days afterwards I was in agony and could barely open my mouth. When I returned 2 weeks later, I was understandably a little anxious, but being the trusting idiot that I am, I thought it must have been a one off - this time will be better, won't it? Nope, the 3rd visit was even worse! She climbed into my mouth once more and this time drilled until the nerve was screaming, despite the numbing injections. By the time she had finished, I wanted to die.

Now, exactly 2 weeks later, the swelling and bruising to my face has only just disappeared over the weekend. Suffice to stay, I won't be returning to see her. I have however, made a complaint; something I have never contemplated with any other dentist. The morale of this story: Yes, give someone your trust willingly. But, for me, one chance is all they get from now on!